not claiming that the child of nature with the keys to my heart wasn't complaining and making me go to the store for mozzarella to provide her with something heartier within an hour.
but there's something intrinsically good about finding a way to just sit down and eat a pound of vegetables. does a body good. my efforts in this regard, while well-intentioned, often miss the point. dick's burgers start to sound like manna from heaven (and smell even better as one toils up olive way) in the wee hours of a binge.
inevitably the next morning is a misery- a function as much of my stomach cramping around the horrible preprocessed scat as the familiar family-friendly dangers of alcohol poisoning.
it is with this in mind that i contemplate the canning of my pickles. they've been fermenting for some time in my crock under the kitchen table. i forgot about them all this week, and now i admit some apprehension in lifting the covering napkin to discover what awaits me within.
is it the answer to my prayers and the promise of milk and honey? is it a horrible reproach to my husbandry? is it a new thing that shall outshine the sun in its promise of eternal grace? only what is beyond the jump will tell.
lifting now.
hm. as ever, my experience with the DIY aesthetic is less pride in my accomplishment than a certain dumbfoundedness that my efforts were successful. i am a notorious incompetent in the functional requirements of staying alive and practical pursuits.
just ate a slice of pickle, and it tasted like a pickle. a little overspiced, a little too salty, but a genuine 100% pickle that probably won't even kill me. though i will wait 24 hrs before i try another bite, i can fucking tell you that. maybe i added too much salt? dunno. also, i used dried dill rather than fresh, because i was too much of an idiot to remember where it was growing and walk there to harvest some. pickles have sort of shriveled, but i simply attribute this to osmotic processes drawing water out. they are good olive-y color, and no mold has formed. i remember last year that the fresh dill that i used appeared to be a vector for mold formation... though i also neglected to keep pickles below surface of the liquid, so it's possible (in fact probable) that they were at least partially the agents of their own demise.
also i'm pretty sure that i'm not supposed to eat it before i process it, but fuck it. if i die i die.
checking wikipedia on clostridium botulinum now. yup, tolerated pH- 4.8 < pH < 7. so assuming i didn't horribly fuck up the prep, i should have added enough vinegar (apple cider!! yay!) to bring pH to at least a poor range for that botulism. party. if i die of muscular paralysis you'll know i was wrong.
will have to scavenge a bit to find jars that i have lids to, but i think i will be okay, so long as i do some reducing to dill spears rather than unmanipulated pickles.
the dearth of obvious microorganisms does make me worry a little bit that i queered my pitch on the recipe- in particular, that the salt concentration was too stringent for lactobacillus growth. however, given my adventures with sauerkraut i find this possibility somewhat unlikely.
but... wait... what's this?
i was just cutting up a pickle to fit better in the jar, and i discover that the thing has a discontinuous line of pickling- that is, some pieces of it still look like cucumber. they aren't ready. crap. crock will be checked in another 2 weeks...
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